12/28/2023 0 Comments Leo and gemini memes![]() ![]() Entire marriages in my family’s long history, in India and beyond, have been arranged or fallen apart because of the alignment of the stars, which makes me even more hostile to thinking about what my birth means for my future. If being a Taurus doesn’t sound quite true to you, your rising sign or moon or Mars or whatever other dumb planet just might explain the discrepancies. I don’t know if I actually believe in astrology, since it’s so easy to twist into something applicable to your own life. I’m partial to ones like and which largely provide answers to questions like, “Which one of my friends is the most obsessed with themselves?” and “Who cries too much?” and “Who is most likely to suggest we go on a hike and then instead get drunk and maybe do cocaine and then cry in the bathroom about how hopeless they feel about climate change?” (The last one is me.) ![]() The app also sends some truly insane push notifications that either make you feel completely untethered from normal behavior (“□ Tell everyone what you love about them”) or humiliatingly seen (“□ Try to stop obsessing today”).īut Co–Star can be hard to parse sometimes - my horoscope for today tells me that “resilience is an elastic experience” - so if you want a hyper-specific reading about your own flaws or quirks, any number of Instagram meme accounts will do. From there, you can add your friends and see how compatible you are, what kind of day you’re going to have together (or apart), and what kind of challenges each of you might be facing. In terms of personally attacking my friends - or, as it were, my potential friends - nothing has been a more useful tool than Co–Star, the astrology app that creates a detailed chart for you based on your birthday, time of birth, and birth location. There has to be a way for me to pinpoint their weaknesses and strong-arm them into a friendship so that I have someone to hang out with the next time I want to watch a Raptors game. If I do want to be friends with anyone at all in this new place, and if I can’t immediately and directly attack them when I first meet them, I at least need to find sly ways to make them feel worse, thereby cementing that they’re someone I am willing to give my time and energy to. They don’t even pretend they forgot their wallet at home to get their friend to pay for the meal! Dumb! Some people make friends not by attacking new people into submission but by having dinner with them. I’m brusque and bossy, and from what I gather, finding a friend requires at least an introductory period of being nice, which I am completely uninterested in faking.ĭo you know there are people in the world who don’t make fun of their friends? They just hang out with each other and find little ways to be supportive, to foster a community of generosity and kindness, and not once do they maybe hit the top of their friend’s beer bottle with the bottom of their beer bottle and watch them struggle to contain all the suds that bubble up to the top, and then they laugh and laugh and laugh, not with them but, rather, at them. Making friends in a big city is hard enough if you aren’t afflicted with my specific condition, which is that I’m personally unpleasant. Back then I was much more malleable, and actually excited about my first day at a university that still asks me for money even after all the money I’ve already given it. This is a harder experience at 28 than it was when I did my last move at 17. I’m having trouble remembering why I did this, but earlier this year I moved to a new city, which inevitably means I have to at least try to make new friends.
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